THE FAN

 This fan has come to represent my few years of experience in Africa. The size alone could ventilate any gymnasium and the cost is exorbitant of which most went to somebody’s uncle. It also takes up a lot of real estate.  It’s clearly a poor choice for a tent. It has three options; off, power #1 or hurricane velocity, power #2 which I cannot describe as I dare not go there and risk all belongings being blown into the dam. It oscillates in a 180 degree motion which cannot be turned off. It sounds much like a Boeing 707 which I rode in Costa Rica many years ago. And, such is the case in South Africa, power is frequently off so if you did want to risk using this overkill of air movement, it’s  not a choice. It does have a function, if you note in the photo it being used as a hat rack. 

Africa - always entertaining. 

Oh, the Meerkats!

Prior to our twilight zone experience at the no-you-can’t-do-that German-themed hotel, we encountered some adorable meerkats at Barkhan Dune Retreat where we spent two nights. (I just couldn’t get enough of the little guys!)

They weren’t quite pets, but they weren’t wild either, just semi-tame with luxurious abodes and hideaways dug up everywhere (ie, big holes that will break your ankle if you’re not careful). Although they’re not pets (they had each been orphaned and rescued), they do prefer to start their day by running through the entry way to the kitchen for a quick snack before setting off to find the really good stuff in the scrub and hills. They also like to explore everything and everywhere and they make sweet little sounds to one another as they do. 

The manager and her husband were wonderful. They  helped us check on road conditions and fed us great food (smoked zebra, oryx, veggies from the garden). We had planned to go the next morning to the dunes, but it turned out the entrance road was still flooded and we were both unwilling to walk the 10k round trip from parking to the dunes and back. Wimps, yep—did I mention the heat yet?

Also, note to self: Stop asking if there are snakes. Answer: yes (many and in great variety), with a follow up being some variation of “but don’t worry.”

Do you want to guess how long I stared at this thing?

I finally touched its tail to confirm it was plastic. The owner had probably placed it on the outside wall next to the shower to discourage birds, certainly not to cause momentary panic followed by lots of poking, prodding, and standing back, right?

Well, then, we did see a snake! We were enjoying the early evening at our little outside table when this long, thin snake with a big bulge in its middle came flying past us. It was so fast! I looked it up later to find it was a sand snake or whip snake. 

Our nights were hot and it was hard to sleep with the heat. We eventually got up and opened all the windows, which we were loathe to do at first because of the huge moths that were everywhere after dark, flopping around like bats against the walls and windows. I was hesitant, too, given that our cottage was partially built into an earthen mound, which is where Mr Whip Snake disappeared to. Luckily, the two windows behind our bed had screens, as they were just above the ground. First thing we did when we arrived was pushed these windows open as far as we could. And left them. Perfect. In the morning, we unfortunately discovered the screens were spring loaded and had not been adequately weighted down during the night—

There had been a lot of recent rain, and we were somewhat tormented by flies during the day, as well as by the aforementioned moths that came to life at night. The moisture-happy moths banged around so much at night, we actually had to turn on white noise to sleep. Crazy. I’d stay there again in a minute though. It was beautiful and the people were amazing. And how can you beat those outdoor showers, even (or especially) when they come with your own plastic snake?

Where did we wake up?

 After spending a wonderful evening all alone in a secluded campsite being entertained by the billions of bright stars we retired for a much needed peaceful sleep.  Upon arising and after a brilliant hot shower while viewing the mountains we decided to splurge and have breakfast 20kms down the road at the Helmeringhausen Hotel and Gastehaus.  Seemed like a great idea at the time.  Let me preface this story with a comment about Namibia.  Despite once being a German colony complete with a concentration camp, it’s s a wonderful country full of friendly and helpful people everywhere.  (Ironic, I know) Well, almost everywhere.  Now about breakfast ….

This is how we were greeted with just the beginning of rules and regulations.  This clearly was not the Namibia we knew but we were enticed by the following sign:

 What the hell, who can pass up the best and original apple cake?  We chose to comply and entered.  After seeing a number of other orders and regulations some of which dumbfounded us such as the “no self service, keep the fridge closed.  Now, how would I close something  I was verboten to touch?  Usually these signs have “dear valued guests, please or thank you “ but they really mean “ stick your head up your arse and do what you are told”. Who needs a string across the books? Can you not look at them before purchase? Are there earthquakes? We might have in a slightly inebriated state headed north last night and are in Angola instead of Namibia. Strange. 

We chose a table and were approached by a waitress who clearly was thinking “was there a sign directing you to seat yourself?”  With a bit of an irritated look from her this is how the conversation went:

“We will have 2 apple cakes”

“One” was the reply.

“No, two slices not the whole cake”

“One” again was the reply followed by “there is only one slice”

Now, this establishment places its importance on the world famous apple cake and it is only 8:30 in the morning and nary a car on the road.  How does this happen?

“Okay, fine.  One slice and two forks.” Again you could just hear her thinking “that will cost you extra for 2 forks”

“Oh, by the way, we both would like the eggs scrambled”

“Fried” was the reply.

“No, no, scrambled please”

“Fried, we only serve fried” 

Oh my god I think. How flipping hard is it to whisk up 4 eggs.  Much easier than frying them I imagine.

This conversation was preceded by carefully viewing the menu of which I’ll supply the necessary photographic evidence:

First, we noted the special was “no mask, no entry” which was ignored by staff but apparently required by guests.

The menu allowed for a free wifi code with a meal but since there was no breakfast meals but only “extras” we didn’t qualify.  This was a thinly veiled attempt at preventing wifi access to those who shunned heavy German meals.  Revenge for the 1940’s?  Perhaps. The thought of a full German meal with a four hour drive made that not an option and I chose not to have wifi and see if I had any new Facebook friend requests.  A wise choice I believe not having bratwurst, sauerkraut, and four pounds of potatoes digesting along bumpy roads.

No tap water was available as was clearly written in all caps but no beverage alternatives were given despite it claiming to also be a beer garden.

I was certain at this point I heard the music to the twilight zone in the distance …

There was much debate about ordering toast since we were now having fried eggs.  Here’s the issue: Two slice of bread are 19 Namibian dollars or about $1.30 bot to have them toasted costs 10 Namibian dollars each or about $1.40.  Is it really more expensive to toast the bread than the bread itself and are two slices of toast worth $2.70?  I don’t know but we decided against the toast or even bread for that matter.

Coffee also wasn’t on the menu but we bravely ordered two cups risking being thrown out and banned from returning.  Soup and Seinfeld comes to mind.

Now, here comes the bizarre part.  Really, it was tame before now.  The only other table occupied was by a cute American girl and a German guy who was wearing a pirate shirt and hair that probably has not been cut nor washed in  the 21st century.  More about him later.  Trust me, read on.

We finish our breakfast and apple cake.  The “best”?  Not sure as I have limited experience but not bad.  Lisa goes to pay while I head to the rig to get the A/C going as it’s a hot one already.  After about 20 minutes which is Lisa’s usual time for the morning porcelain exercise, I become bored and see a sign down the road for a museum.  Helmeringhausen is not what we expected as a town and the population is around 12 depending upon the season and the “museum” was indicative of this not so thriving metropolis.  It was outside and behind a locked fence and showed off a couple rusted cars, an old hand washing machine, a scale, and a few other items not of interest.  I head back to pick up my bride.

Lisa is nowhere to be found which brings back thoughts of the unkempt pirate.  I go to find her and she meets me in the walk way.  “What took so long?” I enquire.  “Well, I had to wait for the pirate to finish asking questions like “how much is the key chain, are there other trinkets, are there dirt bikes available and, just speculating here, can we borrow some rope and shovels?”. She patiently waits and then is prepared to pay and the waitress scurries off to make a phone call clearly still upset over the no seat yourself policy that was violated. After a period of time she returns, Lisa pays and gives her a tip which is perhaps the most bizarre part of the story. I question her as to why she didn’t interrupt the pirate and pay and she said due to the long knife he had strapped to his belt she felt uncomfortable doing so.  I pride myself in noticing details around me but I clearly missed this one.

We head out to highway and periodically look at each other and recount the oddities that happened that morning.  I begin to think about the pirate and consider he might be a card carrying member of the Charles Manson fan club.  That’s absurd I know.  The more likely story is he is Charlie’s progeny who escaped to the obscurity of Namibi but genetics caught up with him .  Crazed look, long knife, naive young girl with him.  No so far fetched as one might think.

It’s truly amazing how an hour can influence your life.

  

Swakopmund - Coastal Namibia

 Swakopmund doesn't feel like the rest of Namibia, at least not the Namibia we've seen so far. This is a seaside town with rocky beach, dramatic waves, boardwalk, upscale restaurants, condos, and a lot of things Germanic--food, colonial architecture, and language. Not much camping here. It's more a place where you rent a beach cottage. Richard found us a lovely room with a balcony and view of the ocean. What a change from the inland desert. 

Reluctant subject 

One of the many interesting houses on the beach

The head has actually gone down! Apparently Namib Dune craft beer has to be opened and poured very slowly. It was quite a project to fill the glass.

Next we drive to Barkhan Dune Retreat in Solitaire. Unfortunately there’s some flood damage to the road and it’s corrugated as is. The pass isn’t going to be easy either. Hope we get through with all the recent rain. Wish us luck!

 

The rain!

Our last night camping at Mowani, it poured! We sat in our rooftop tent and watched the rain come down, blowing into our camper windows, trying to listen to a Bill Bryson book (rain was too loud to hear it), wondering what all those dry riverbeds and gullies where going to look like in the morning. Well, we found out. Full. The Aba Huab river, previously dry and known for its elephants, was flowing. We didn't realize that until we drove the dirt road for a bit and got to the river crossing. Nope. We had to turn and go the long (long!) way to our next destination. Not Swakopmund, which was now too long a drive for the day, but instead Uis, a small mining town in the Erongo region. 

I found Uis a pleasant surprise. I had expected just a basic camp for a quick overnight, but we found a garden/coffee shop that doubled as a campground/cottage rental place. It was nice and comfortable. We had private ablutions, finicky hot water, a kitchen sink, and a small table and chairs, all under an overhang of dried palm leaves, even a shelter for parking the rig (well, partially parking it--the rig never completely fits under anything once the tent goes up). And I got a cappuccino in the morning! I'm glad we got the chance to spend the night there. 

And, by the way, it poured there, too. Back up into the tent we went with our drinks and Bill Bryson book.

Some of the Oldest Things Around...

Before getting to our next camp at Mowani and visiting Twyfelfontein, we checked out one of the petrified forest sites in the area near Hais Ra where we camped. The owner arranged a guide for us, and he led us through the rocks to see the now petrified trees that had washed down from Angola some 280 million years ago. Some of the trunks deposited are still whole and measure over 45 meters long. We also saw some more Welwitschia plants, most of which are well over 1,000 years old and still living.

Welwitschia

We got to Mowani and had another lovely campsite nestled among boulders. We made a day of it and saw the rock carvings at Twyfelfontein (more rock climbing), and then we checked out the Organ Pipes and Burnt Mountain, both famous rock formations in the southern Kunene/Damaraland region of Namibia. The pipes and mountain were kind of a disappointment, since they only took us 10 minutes to see. Geology-wise, though, both are fascinating. Burnt Mountain was formed by a stream of lava that flowed over 80 million years ago and the Organ Pipes were formed about 150 million years ago by lava exuding into basalt rock. The Cretaceous and Jurassic periods? Amazing to think about that.

Organ Pipes in the dry river bed

Burnt Mountain at the front

The rock carvings at Twyfelfontein were fascinating. There are over 2,500 carvings, some dating back 6,000 years, made by hunter-gatherers in the area and later by the Khoikhoi people. I loved seeing these carvings in person. The images are so clear and well preserved. It's hard to imagine how long ago they were done. One of the carvings was a map that identified watering holes and locations of animals. We saw the Lion Man carving, which is the best known from the site. The carvings were wonderfully skillful in the realistic depiction of different animals--rhinos, giraffes, oryx, ostrich, lions-- and most had a carved image of the artist's footprints as a signature.

The famous Lion Man

Now we're off to Swakopmund!

Kunene Region/Damaraland

The quietest place I’ve ever been! It’s absolutely silent at night. 

We spent yesterday at Hais Ra next to the petrified forest, and for the next couple of nights we’re at the Mowani camp/lodge near Twyfelfontein with all of its ancient rock carvings. We’re going to Twyfelfontein tomorrow. 

You can drive for hours here and only see one or two other cars (or none!). Huge boulders and rocks and sand cover the landscape. The boulders look like they are teetering, ready to topple (and some of them may just topple when the rains come). The hills and sunsets are magnificent. There are desert elephant around. And giraffes. And dry river beds and beautiful night skies. The only thing not to like are the mosquitoes.

Hais Ra's sunset and night sky:

The moon illuminated by the setting sun

The moon through the clouds late last night